11th
Lana Del Rey - Blue Jeans (Penguin Prison Remix)
So, I am remembering again for the Nth time that my life is really a cycle of realizing a few key things about myself, then slowly forgetting these important things because I start focusing on other things. Then one day, I look around and I feel very upset and unhappy and dissatisfied with my life and wonder ‘How did I get here?’ And then I begin the process of rediscovering and remembering these things that I’ve known all along, but have just sort of forgotten…
One of these key things : dance music always makes me feel better.
Which sounds ridiculous, sort of. But I mean it in the most sincere way. I have a theory it’s because I am so so very sensitive to everything outside of me, I have a tendency to be so strongly influenced by others’ emotions and sometimes I don’t even realize it…I pick up these external cues and somehow end up taking them on and carrying them around. Which includes music. So if I’m feeling down, it makes it a lot harder to stay down if I turn on something with a dance beat…
I found this song yesterday and I’ve been listening to it a lot since then. It feels dark, and I’ve been feeling pretty dark lately, but I’ve also been sticking to my resolve that things are going to get better if I just keep plugging away, and not get stuck in sadness and inaction. I know things are going to get better.
